Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

Get buff for the bedroom

By Jamie Beckman
From Health magazine

ImageThere are two secrets to great sex that nobody talks about: strength and flexibility. Sculpting and stretching key muscles can mean the difference between finishing strong and kinking up (or conking out!) mid-session.

Integrate these targeted exercises into your usual workout routine to feel much more pleasure tonight—and tone up while you’re at it.

For super flexibility

Try: Frog stretch

ImageWhether you’re dying to test out a new move, or just want to be able to wrap your legs around him, this stretch from Leslie Howard, a yoga instructor in Oakland, California, will help. It opens up the inner thighs and pelvic floor, limbering you up for any position.

• Lie facedown on the floor with two rolled-up towels supporting your pelvis and thighs and your arms reaching out in front of you. Bend arms and legs at 90-degree angles, into a position that resembles a frog. Hold for 3 minutes, then release.

For lower body power

Try: Ball-wall sits

ImageCertain positions, like you straddling him, can exhaust your glutes, quads, and hamstrings. To go the distance, Los Angeles–based personal trainer Nancy Krank prescribes this “wall sit.”

• Place a stability ball against a wall and lean back on it so the top of the ball hits the small of your back, but still touches your lower back and tailbone.

• Place hands on knees, shift weight onto heels, and, with back touching ball, begin to squat down until thighs are parallel to floor (keep knees behind toes). Hold for15 seconds, stand back up, rest for 30 seconds; repeat 5 times.

For stay-on-top-all night strength

Try: Spider-man push-ups

Image“This move puts more force on your arms than a regular push-up,” says Amanda Russell, fitness instructor at Equinox in New York City. “By doing it, you’ll be better able to hold yourself up in different positions.”

• Assume a push-up position, with your arms straight (drop your knees if this is too challenging). As you bend your arms to lower your body, bend your left knee and bring it toward your left tricep.

• Bring the left leg back to starting position as you push up, then repeat on the right side. Do 2 sets of 10–15.

For pain-free nooky

Try: Airplane leg lifts

ImageDo your hips and legs ache the morning after? Working your abductor muscles, located in your outer hips and upper glutes, will minimize soreness and reduce hip muscle strains, Russell explains. Here’s how:

• Begin on hands and knees, in tabletop position. Extend your left leg straight behind you, foot relaxed. Keeping the leg parallel to the ground, slowly swing it out to the left until it forms as close as possible to a 90-degree angle with your body; flex your foot.

• Hold for 10 seconds and release, bending knee and returning to tabletop; repeat on right side. Do twice on each side.



A Quick Guide to Quickies

Posted: August 29, 2012 in Love, Sex

Fast can feel good, too! Here’s how to maximize your pleasure in minutes.

Tips for a revved-up romp

By Jennifer Benjamin
From Health magazine

In bodice-ripping romance novels, hours of lovemaking sounds wonderful. In real life, marathon sessions can leave you wondering, Are we done yet? In fact, surveys show that most of us prefer sex to last less than 15 minutes.

Makes sense: In a speedy session, not only is there less pressure to have the best sex ever, but the lightning-fast factor can be exhilarating (“I must have you right now!”). To make a minutes-long romp even more satisfying, try these tricks.

Do some smooching

Making out will help you get turned on faster. “Kissing accelerates the arousal process because it wakes up the nervous system, as well as the endocrine system, which produces all of those lust-fueled hormones,” says Los Angeles–based sex coach Patti Britton, PhD. It also makes a quick encounter feel way more intimate, so don’t fast-forward past foreplay

Keep your clothes on

Why waste precious minutes getting undressed? Besides, staying covered up can be a big turn-on. “It feels primal and animalistic, as though you’re desperate to have each other right there and then,” explains Joel Block, PhD, a psychologist and relationship expert

Change the venue

Five minutes of ho-hum missionary on your pillow-top bed probably won’t knock your socks off. But five minutes in the shower? Or on the kitchen island? Now we’re talking! “The novelty of a new setting increases excitement, especially when there’s the risk of getting caught,” Block explains. Even if there’s no one else around, doing it in an unconventional spot helps create the thrilling sense that someone could walk in at any moment.

Think NC-17 thoughts

When you’re trying to get in the mood ASAP, your brain can help get the rest of you on board. “Fantasizing spurs a physiological sexual response because your body replicates what it’s envisioning in your brain,” Britton explains. “It also focuses your mind to help you tune out distractions.” Even if you are on your pillow-top bed, pretend you’re doing it on a tropical beach.

Narrate the action

Communicating while in the act, whether it’s nice or naughty talk, allows you to stay focused on each other and reminds you that you still have that spark, Block says. So share how good it feels as the action unfolds. It’s a super-simple way to have a blast—fast!


The Secret to Bigger, Better Orgasms

Posted: August 29, 2012 in Love, Sex
Tags: , ,

Yes! Yes! Yes!

By Jennifer Benjamin
From Health magazine

ImageEveryone loves a happy ending—so why stop at just one? In our exclusive orgasm survey, three-quarters of you said you want more: more frequent O’s, stronger O’s, and yes, O’s in a row!

Gird your loins, ladies: We’ve got tips from top ecstasy experts on how to achieve ultimate bedroom bliss.

Take it to the brink

To make your orgasm …
Last longer

Unlike men, women can maintain a heightened level of arousal, without going over the edge.

To take advantage, “Practice something called ‘peaking’ where, using his hands or his mouth during foreplay, your man brings you just to the edge of climax, backs down a bit, then increases the intensity again, and so on,” says Ian Kerner, PhD, sex therapist and founder of “It keeps you in this holding pattern of orgasmic pleasure.”

Ride it out

Think about what happens when you climax: Does your body clench? Do you hold your breath? Sure, all of that tension may help you reach orgasm, but once you get there, it’s holding you back.

“If you allow the sensations to take over your entire body, rather than react against them, you can draw the orgasm out,” says sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD.

Think naughty thoughts

To make your orgasm …
Feel stronger

Image“Fantasizing about something new or exotic during foreplay boosts your dopamine levels, which enhance your level of arousal, and in turn, make your orgasms even more powerful,” Kerner says.

Pretend you and your man are on the beach in Belize, or having sex where the neighbors might see. The fantasy will eventually slip away, but that heightened level of excitement will lead to a more intense peak.

Go for aftershocks

Women have a little-known pleasure point that, when triggered during orgasm, can magnify the sensation.

Right above your clitoral hood, in the groove where your labia meet, is the front commissure, an area rife with nerve endings that contributes to your orgasmic potential, Kerner says.

If you or your partner applies pressure there while you’re in that blissed-out moment, it can create an even more powerful release.

Order up an appetizer and an entree

To make your orgasm …
Happen again and again (and again)

ImageHey, a girl can be greedy! Your best bet is to try to achieve one during foreplay, followed by another during intercourse.

“If you’ve reached orgasm before sex, you’ll be that much more primed to have a second one,” Fulbright explains. “During sex, he’ll be stimulating you internally as well, so the next one can be a deeper sensation.”


Must-read sex advice

By Kara Jesella

ImageJust can’t seem to quite get there? Or would you like your big moment to be even bigger? 

We’ve got the dish from sex experts on how you can have your best orgasm yet.

Hit the hot spots

A friction position may help you have an orgasm during intercourse. Get on top, for example, so the top of your clitoris is rubbing directly on your partner’s pubic bone. Or lay on your back with a pillow underneath your butt.

You may even want to try using a vibrator during intercourse, says Laura Berman, PhD, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and OB-GYN at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. She recommends the Athena ($11.95) or the Aurora ($46.95), both available

Talk the talk

“Men really want direction,” Berman says. Let your partner know when he’s on the right track, either by telling him what feels great or by moaning.

Learn on your own

ImageYou can’t talk the talk if you don’t know what turns you on. “To train your body to be orgasmic, you have to masturbate,” says Danielle Cavallucci, a sex coach with sex information company Sexuality Source.

Exercise your orgasm muscles

“Kegels are the classic exercise for women who want to transform feeble orgasms into fabulous ones,” sex educator Dorian Solot says. Locate these muscles in your pelvic floor by stopping yourself from peeing midstream. Then tone them by clenching when you’re not peeing. Do Kegels every day, ideally a few times a day. And keep breathing while you squeeze.

Get risky

Research shows that engaging in thrill-seeking behaviors together (whether it’s rock climbing or just going to see a scary movie) stimulates dopamine in the brain, which gets your juices flowing.

Delay the pleasure

“The longer the arousal buildup, the bigger the explosion,” Solot says. Get yourself close to orgasm, then slow to a simmer. Repeat that a few times before you climax.

Focus on breathing

Tantric sex may sound new-agey, but its central tenet—focused breathing—may boost your pleasure. “You can use your breath to channel your sexual energy,” sex educator Yvonne Fulbright says. Partners who breathe in tandem may slow the rush to orgasm and create a bigger buildup, which can intensify pleasure.

Explore erotica

Porn isn’t all about big penises and deep throats. Erotic movies and books can be tasteful and arousing, and the more aroused you are, the better your orgasm chances.

Berman and Fulbright suggest the Candida Royale films ($9.95 and up at; the sex scenes are steamy, and there’s a plot. Berman also recommends literature like the Herotica series, in which women are the lead characters.

Try creative foreplay

ImageIf it takes you longer than your partner to warm up, Fulbright says, get a head start by e-mailing or texting each other sexy messages (but don’t get too graphic—e-mail is not necessarily private).

Check your meds

Women are more likely than men to take antidepressants, which are known to hurt a person’s sex life. If you’re having trouble, talk to your doctor about your meds.

Get help early

If you’re not orgasmic, advice from a pro may be helpful. Nerve damage or low testosterone could be the problem. “Your doctor can do a medical evaluation,” Berman says, “or look at relationship factors.” 

To find a sex therapist, check with the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists at


In a recent French study of 500-plus women, more than 70% said work stress compromised their sex drive. A low libido, obviously, lowers chances of orgasm. So ditch life’s distractions at your bedroom door.



But is there such a thing as too much sex?

The answer, in purely physiological terms, is this: If you’re female, probably not. If you’re male? You betcha.

Dr. Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol says there is little or no risk of a woman’s overdosing on sex. In fact, she says, regular sessions can not only firm a woman’s tummy and buttocks but also improve her posture.

Dr. George Winch Jr., an obstetrician/gynecologist in Elko, Nev., concurs. If a woman is pre-menopausal and otherwise healthy, says Dr. Winch, her having an extraordinary amount of intercourse ought not to pose a problem. “I don’t think women can have too much intercourse,” he says, “so long as no sexually transmitted disease is introduced and there’s not an inadvertent pregnancy. Sometimes you can have a lubrication problem. If you have that, there can be vaginal excoriation–vaginal scrape.”

Women who abstain from sex run some risks. In postmenopausal women, these include vaginal atrophy. Dr. Winch has a middle-aged patient of whom he says: “She hasn’t had intercourse in three years. Just isn’t interested. The opening of her vagina is narrowing from disuse. It’s a condition that can lead to dysparenia, or pain associated with intercourse. I told her, ‘Look, you’d better buy a vibrator or you’re going to lose function there.'”

As for men, urologist Eid says it’s definitely possible to get too much of a good thing, now that drugs such as Viagra and Levitra have given men far more staying power than may actually be good for them.

The penis, says Eid, is wonderfully resilient. But everything has its limits. Penile tissues, if given too roistering or prolonged a pummeling, can sustain damage. In cases you’d just as soon not hear about, permanent damage.

“Yes,” says Dr. Eid, “It is possible for a young man who is very forceful and who likes rough sex, to damage his erectile tissue.” The drugs increase rigidity; moreover, they make it possible for a man to have second and third orgasms without having to wait out intermission.

“I see it in pro football players,” says Eid. “They use Viagra because they’re so sexually active. What they demand of their body is unreasonable. It’s part of playing football: you play through the pain.” This type of guy doesn’t listen to his body. He takes a shot of cortisone, and keeps on going. And they have sex in similar fashion.”

There’s a reason the penis, in its natural state, undergoes a period of flaccidity: That’s when it takes a breather. The blood within it is replenished with oxygen. “During an erection,” explains Eid, “very little blood flows to the penis. During thrusting, pressure can go as high as 200 mil of water. Zero blood flows into penis at that time.” To absorb oxygen, the tissue must become relaxed. “If you do not allow the penis to rest, then the muscle tissue does not get enough oxygen. The individual gets prolonged erections, gets decreased oxygen to tissue, and could potentially suffer priapism.” (We recommend you get a medical encyclopedia and look it up.) “The muscle becomes so engorged, it’s painful. Pressure inside starts to increase. Cells start dying. More pressure and less blood flow. Eventually the muscle dies. Then there’s scarring. That’s why it’s considered an emergency.” 

Other perspectives

You can never have too much of a good thing, right? I used to think that when it came to sex. What harm is there in luxuriating in a lot of loving?

Then I learned that an overly zealous sexfest can indeed have you walking more than a little funny.

Fascinated, I looked into the matter, only to find that too much sex in a short period of time can do a lot more than bench you for a couple of days. It can, in fact, put you out of commission for a while if you’re not smart about your sex play.

So how can you avoid injury when caught up in a bout of excessive sexual desire?

First, let’s look at the physical woes that can affect your game in the short term. Many of these are the result of having too much sex in a short period of time.

Rug burns or bruises –- These are primarily going to affect the sexual positions you can engage in more than anything else. Just stay off of your back, knees or whatever is causing you discomfort and congratulate yourself for taking one for the team.

Strained muscle(s) – As with any other athletic, cardiovascular activity, you run the risk of pulling something. A bit of pain and slight immobility, however, should be the ultimate excuse for being (or staying) on your back. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner to take charge. After all, you should be rewarded for an effort (hopefully) well done.

Head injury – Often the result of banging up against the headboard. Take a pain killer and remind yourself that there’s no need to pull off a porn star routine next time.

Soreness and swelling – Feeling sore and swollen can be an unfortunate consequence for the ladies in particular. This “ouch” – often due to vaginal excoriation (or scraping of the vaginal walls) – can make any type of penetration-related sexual activity pretty much impossible. But don’t let your enthusiasm go unrecognized. This is the perfect excuse for some tender love and care.

Dehydration – You’re burning calories, working up a sweat and losing lots of water. So stay hydrated, especially if you’ve been drinking alcohol and want to avoid a headache.

Urinary tract infection (UTI) – Many women end up with a bout of cystitis (also called a urinary tract infection) after serious sex sessions. And they can be crippling, as in, neither of you are seeing any action for the next few days while she’s on antibiotics. To avoid a UTI, a woman should be sure to empty her bladder immediately before and after intercourse. She should also drink lots of water and cranberry juice on a regular basis.

Lower back pain – Whether hurting from the impact or sore from delivering avid thrusts during intercourse, you may feel pain at the base of your spine. If you’re willing to attempt keeping at it like rabbits, try positions that tend to require slower movements, like side-by-side variations. Be sure to also give each other massages, enjoy a hot bath and practice Reiki, a form of energy healing, to help get you back into prime form.

Injured nerves – While the body’s hot spots can withstand a lot, too much direct stimulation of their nerves can be a bit painful at times. Somebody near and dear to me once put herself out of commission the first night of a planned lovefest weekend. Pace yourself and listen to your body and what your lover is telling you when it comes to being direct versus indirect, or too much too soon.

Trouble finishing or reaching climax again – I know that some men will think that this belongs in the next section, but this is a perfectly normal reaction to having lots of sex in a short timeframe. A male’s semen level and sperm reserve both go down if he doesn’t give his body time to recharge. Therefore, he may not have the chi for more orgasmic bliss right away.

Decreased Vision –- People have been known to pop blood vessels in the eyes during sexual activity. These should heal and, fortunately, shouldn’t put you out of commission.

Now, for the more serious consequences of “excessive” sex in a short time span:

Heart attack – When it comes to major negative health consequences from sex, we typically hear about this one. Yet though, a heart attack can strike during cardiovascular activity like sex, it’s actually rather uncommon. If anything, regular, good sex boosts heart health.

Fracture – While men cannot “break” their member (since there is no bone in it), they can suffer from a fracture. They will usually hear a “snap” or “pop,” followed by immediate loss of erection, and swelling of the base and scrotum. They may also notice bruising and experience excruciating pain. Do not have sex until this heals.